The Gift of Fear

About three months ago (August 10th, to be exact) I said I would make a list of books everyone should read, and then write something about them, and why I think they should be read by all. In those three months, I have discussed exactly one book. Tonight I will increase that number by an incredible 100%! And today's topic is The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. It's the story of one young woman's lighthearted romp through pastoral England in search of her... no, perhaps I'm thinking of something else.

The Gift of Fear is a book I had long wanted to read, but simply never got around to buying. Since the library didn't have it, I just kept putting off buying it. Because it costs money. And I'm cheap. I was fortunate enough that Nathan came to visit, and he again recommended the book to me. As a police officer, I have tremendous respect for his opinion on this, and many other matters. But I didn't even have to go out and buy my own copy. Nathan surprised me with one. I am very grateful to him for my copy, and I will gladly lend it out if you would like to read it.

I am actually not sure what Mr. De Becker's job title is, but I think "Threat Analyzer" would fit quite nicely. His job, and the purpose of the company he runs, is to analyze threats to citizens, some of them famous. This book is a compilation of the processes he uses to analyze, verify, and react to threats received by his clients. Most importantly (to me and you), he teaches the reader how to recognize threats in situations where there is no obvious threat.

The first five or so chapters contain the information that you and I would use to keep ourselves safe on the streets. I cannot recommend reading that portion highly enough. Most of the rest of the book details much more specific scenarios, i.e. dealing with verbal threats, violent employees, and even remarkably violent children. I think that the vast majority of us will never need to know how to fire a potentially violent employee, but his constant use of examples makes it interesting to read. But focus on the first five chapters, because they contain the information that will help keep you safe.

Since you are now certainly wondering what those five chapters contain, I will give you a brief synopsis. Our brains are unfathomably complicated computers. Every waking moment, they are gathering, sorting, processing, and storing enormous amounts of information. However, our brains learn early on that the vast majority of the information it picks up from the world around it is not important, so it discards what it doesn't think needs attention.

Out of the corner of your eye you may see a car pass you as you walk down the street. Without you even being aware of it, your brain has taken note of it, it's direction of travel, speed, maybe even color and style. But since your brain also realizes that the car isn't moving directly toward you, it poses no threat. Thus, all the data your brain has compiled on the passing car is sent to your mental recycle bin. All that work took mere seconds, and it took no effort on your part to make it happen; it was completely automatic.

If, however, the car was moving in your direction, your brain would tell you that there was an approaching threat, and all the subconscious action your brain was taking would suddenly become conscious. Your instincts take over, and you dive out of the path of the car and into a panhandler, who sues you for millions.

That's the mechanism, and it's nothing you really have to think about. Your brain gathers information from everything around you, and when it finds something that needs your attention, it sounds the alarm and you take conscious action. Here's where human nature now takes over. The alarm often manifests itself as a "gut feeling." Oftentimes, when we hear the mental alarm going off, we tell ourselves, "Stupid brain! There's nothing wrong here. I'll just turn off the alarm and get back to sticking Cheetos in my nostrils." That is what gets us into trouble. It is easy to convince ourselves that it was a false alarm, because we've been practicing it all our lives. Then, when the alarm bells start banging away to warn us about something really and truly dangerous, we talk ourselves into believing that it is nothing to worry about.

However, the book is not about approaching cars, but about crime. Mr. De Becker teaches us, the readers, how to recognize those warning signals. Using fascinating examples, he illustrates how your brain picks up warning signals that are virtually meaningless by themselves. But since your brain has compiled reams of data, it can accurately analyze those warning signals and tell you when danger is imminent. He gives some very dangerous warning signals to watch for and emphasizes that when the alarm sounds, you do not ignore it. Always go with your gut, because it knows more about the situation that it's letting on.

Now comes my one gripe with this book, and I think it's a big, vitally important one. Appendix Three is entitled "Gun Safety," and he discusses how dangerous guns are, and how many people are hurt or killed in the U.S. by guns. He then recommends unbelievably strict, and oftentimes punitive measures for controlling the use of guns. His position is understandable, and earlier in the book he hints at where his philosophy comes from. But I must say that his stance is unquestionably, fantastically, even boneheadedly wrong. It is largely a position steeped in emotion and narrowmindedness. He takes pains to point out the number of people killed and injured each year by guns, but fails to mention how many lives are saved, and crimes prevented, by the lawful use of guns. An estimated 2.5 million crimes never happen because someone used a gun to protect himself (or herself). Two and one half million people went unrobbed, unraped, unassaulted, unmurdered, because they had the tools with which to stop an attack. That is something that nothing besides a gun could have accomplished, and by recommending that there be no guns in the home, or that they are rendered useless while in the home, Mr. De Becker is recommending that the reader remove his sole line of defense and open himself to whatever depravity an attacker wishes to inflict. I find this line of reasoning from one whose job is threat control to be perfectly astounding. Remove your means of self-protection, and replace it with... well, who knows, because he doesn't say. To teach a person how to recognize threats, but then take away the one tool he may require to deal with the threat is dangerous, nonsensical, and it imperils those he is trying to protect. Please skip his empty-headed diatribe on the subject.

So there you have it! If you are family, you are free to borrow my copy, so long as you follow some simple book-borrowing rules (See "Brandon's Big Book of Book Borrowing, Section 27.1.02, Subsection 14, Paragraphs 3 through 44). If you only read one book off my list, please make it this one. It's for your own good.