Mystical Predictions

Because I honestly don't know who reads this blog, I hesitate to post this. I really don't want to offend anyone (though taking offense seems to have become the new national pastime), and I figure that since not everyone who reads it will agree with me, I am sure that someone will take offense at what I have to say. That is not my intention, and that is largely why I have tried, with one or two exceptions, to steer clear of politics. But I wanted to post this in the hopes that, if these things do come to pass, I will be lauded as a brilliant visionary, and I will receive lots of money.

Let me preface my few predictions by qualifying them. I think that these things will happen only if two conditions are met. First, Barack Obama (B.O. for short) must win the presidential election next week. Second, the Democrat Party must gain enough seats in Congress to be filibuster proof. I make no predictions about the likelihood of those things happening; I'm only saying what I think will happen if those two things are accomplished. Feel free to start sending me money in anticipation of my being correct.

So here I go with my predictions:

• The decade preceding WWII will become known as "The First Depression."
• Congress will pass laws restricting the exercise of free speech. So-called "Hate Speech" will be a punishable criminal offense. The government will begin to regulate what the press can tell the public, saying that it is for the good of the public.
• The government will begin confiscating privately (and perfectly legally) owned firearms. They will begin with semi-automatic handguns and so-called "assault rifles" ("Assault rifle" is a meaningless political buzzword used to intimidate the general public, but which essentially refers to any rifle that is even vaguely military-like. These "assault rifles" are no more dangerous, lethal, or otherwise bad for people to own than non-military-style firearms; they just look different. It's all about cosmetics). They will first tell people that they are only taking "a few dangerous guns," and leaving the rest. They will shortly come for the rest. The rate of violent crime will climb dramatically.
• There will be a terrorist attack on U.S. soil, and in response, President B.O. will appeal to the U.N. In order to assist the United States in defending itself, and further the cause of justice globally, the U.N. will pass a resolution.

I realize that I have not offered any supporting evidence for my prognostications, and though I think it would be nice, it is after 9:00 pm, and I would like to play a game or get some knitting done or something, so I don't really have the time to do it right now. Maybe in another blog. But by the time I get around to it, it may be too late, so maybe not. Anyhoo...

There are two more predictions I would like to make, the first of which some of you may have heard about. Look it up. These two I am separating from the list of others, since I have less faith that they will occur, but I include them because I have, I don't know... a feeling? I can't explain it; I just think they might be right.

• It will be proved that President B.O. is not a natural born citizen, as required by the constitution for him to be President.

My final prediction is strictly a gut feeling, and I have absolutely zero evidence to back it up. If it's wrong, well, send less money. This has been attempted in the past (most notably by F.D.R.), and with B.O. in charge, I almost expect it will be tried again.

• Two additional justices will be appointed to the Supreme Court, giving it 11 justices total, and handing the liberal wing of the Court an almost insurmountable advantage.

So there you have it. If you don't agree with me, that's fine. If you love Obama, that's fine too, though I cannot understand why. Just please don't try to convince me that he is the greatest thing since chili-cheese Fritos. Now start sending me money, because I'll have to have lots of it to bail myself out of jail after being arrested for hate speech.